ELISSA DIARIES (Part 1 of 2)



*** Pages from the Diaries ***

Excerpts from the Personal Logs of the crew of the Elissa for the period between 1200/008-1120 the time of the first Jump toward the Rift, and 2359/022-1120, the end of the last full day in Jumpspace before the arrival in what used to be the R-Alpha System.

>>> THIS FILE HAS BEEN EDITED TO REMOVE PRIVILEGED INFORMATION <<<

All entries are voluntary and chosen by the crew themselves; they are ordered by the date and time of the entry.


008-1120

AOLRKHEA'
Personal log, 008-1120 0600

End of a busy first day. And I still have not explored this vessel. The medical team is undoubtedly competent, but my initial impression is that some seem to lack ... balance. Dr. Tabor comes to mind.

At least they were not downright rude as the duty person in the armory when I deposited my gauss pistol's cartridges and charge pack. Removing them from my pistol in my Shrine is a balanced compromise. I cannot begin to imagine my clanmates disarming as easily as I.

I have not found that liter of Hoop water tapped from the Trakh's purification system after refueling. I'll check the Khtaliyr cargo hold tomorrow. It might be of interest to some of the scientists aboard also.

My small horticulture garden did not do well either in the transfers from the Trakh to my stateroom. Good thing there are only five Aslan aboard, I would not have enough muxaboxin for more.

My concept of crew discussions has certainly been well received. Unfortunately, Captain Bhyarrvouf has scheduled the first meeting in the middle of my next sleep period. As this body ages, it is getting harder to get moving from disrupted sleep. The mind is keen but the body lags. If I am physically inactive at the meeting, there will be no loss of honor.

There are plenty of volunteers for continuing discussions. Dr. Limner on the Ancients will be a good choice after Doejin. Dr. Limner's reputation is such that I must gently remind him that this is an open discussion and not a college lecture.

I will follow with an Aslan cultural overview. I must research any data on Ancients affecting prehistoric Aslans. Count Ger and Dr. Limner together can present the Darrian society. Count Ger has offered a lecture on stellar interiors. I will have to meditate on that. End.


JOACHIM TABOR
"Personal log, 1400, 008-1120.
The initial spasms of Jump sickness have come and gone with little incident, and all personnel are settling into what looks like it will be a pleasant routine. There are still some areas where the rough edges need to be smoothed down, but considering how hasty we were in crewing and launching the Elissa, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

"The Elissa has a strange aura about her; she somehow FEELS more like a real starship than the Alcyon did. She creaks occasionally in her sleep; she needs a fresh coat of paint in one or two places; things don't always work perfectly on the first try, at least not the non- essentials. I must remember to ask if there's anyone in Engineering who knows basic sanitation systems control-- the toilet in my cabin is backing up occasionally. But I don't mind; there was something strange, something almost surreal, about the Alcyon-- she was too clean, too sterile, to be a real starship. It lent an air of, oh, what would I call it, UNREALITY to the whole mission. Standing on the Alcyon, the Hoop was somehow easy to believe in. I wonder if I'll have as easy a time while treading the rusty decks of the Elissa, a ship so refreshingly REAL and rooted in the here and now.

"Medical seems to be shaping up nicely. I had always felt that Christian, despite his brilliant surgical technique, was ill-suited for a position as Chief Medical Officer-- he had too many fingers in too many pies, particularly his fascination with that crazy Vargr... I wonder.... well, anyway, I think he's happier on the Bridge, and he'll do us all more good there. Jan is a splendid administrator and a highly competent physician. We're getting along famously, and I look forward to working with him on this trip. Morton seems as happy as a clam in Medical-- I find this surprising, given his many interests outside of medicine, but he's always effervescent and friendly, so I won't argue. DaSilva is an interesting puzzle. He's certainly competent, and pleasant enough to chat with, but he seems somehow aloof from the rest of us... personally I think this is because he feels uncomfortable as the only one in Medical who hasn't been where we're going, and he feels a stigma from his previous work with Turnskaad. Well, he needn't worry; I plan to make an extra effort to make friends with him. We're all one big, usually happy family here, and there's no reason why anyone should be left out.

"The one person I do worry about is Aooowlllr... AAaawoorlr.... ugh, the Aslan woman. She is alone among Humans, and despite her frequent protestations of being familiar with humaniti from her stint on Warinir she often gives the impression of being upset or annoyed with the other Medical staff... especially me. I really must sit down with a good holocrystal on basic Aslan protocols and study it thoroughly, and SOON. I still haven't recovered from the shock I got when I realized that she thinks of all of us as WOMEN, in some arcane sense, because we do "women's work"! It's mindboggling.. but then again, I suppose I should get used to surprises. They seem to be stock in trade aboard this ship. Endit."


=== 011-1120

MORGAN GREY
"Personal Log, uhhhh, what time IS it anyway, oh, 0100, 011-1120. Just got off shift, had a bite, getting ready to go to bed. My back hurts like hell; I s'pose I should go down to Medical and have someone look at it sometime, but with MY luck La Munro will decide I'm just goldbricking again and pin my ears even further back than they are already. I'll pop some muscle relaxants before bed and make it a point to have a grav-clamp handy tomorrow for the heavy lifting. Hopefully that'll do it.

I should miss the Bridge, I guess. You got to sit rather than run around and lift things all day, the pay was probably better, and people were nicer to you 'cuz you were in the Line. But hell, I'm getting to LIKE the Power Deck, even if La Munro DOES think I'm a bum. The people are nice, the work's easy, PATER makes everything a breeze to monitor....

"PATER. What a machine. WHAT a MACHINE! He's awesome, just totally out of this world. When I think of what we could do with a whole fleet of smart-ships like this one, it just boggles my mind. It's kind of sad to think that no one in the Imperium will get a chance to learn about him until the War settles down a bit more.

"I'm gonna have to stop eating seconds on dessert; my jumpsuits are starting to get tight in the butt. I almost wish the food weren't so good to eat. Maybe I should go on a raw-meat diet, like the Cap'n and the Execs. Seems to do them a WORLD of good. I tried the other day, I really TRIED, to imagine the Commander with a pot belly. Couldn't do it. Sweet Mary, that is one SCARY pussycat. And the Chief's almost as bad-- WORSE, maybe, because if you take two seconds in the Jump Control Area to blow your nose and wipe your forehead, SHE'S the one staring at you when you turn around. Fit to freeze the blood. Kinder to shoot a man. Crap! Oh, speaking of crap, I gotta remember to requisition some plumbing tools from Stores tomorrow morning-- this business with the toilet's getting ridiculous.

"Well, that's it. I've got the afternoon free before I go back on; may try to get another card game going. Gotta remember not to invite the Cap'n this time, though. I don't give a shit WHAT Bishop says; I STILL think he's cheating, the sonofabitch. Switch off."


=== 014-1120

ZBEN BLAINE
Personal Log, 2300, 014-1120.
Finally getting a chance to put something in here. It's been much busier than I thought it might! Not that on-duty has been rough, its just there's been plenty of things to occupy my attention, on and off the bridge.

Got up this morning at about 20 minutes before I had to be on the Bridge, so I skipped chow, cleaned up, and hightailed it up there. That Crew Chief, she doesn't care if you've eaten, just as long as you're there On Time and In Shape! Made a little mistake that day after first Jump and showed up nursing a small hangover. Don't know if it was the eyes, or if she could smell it, but she found every disagreeable job for me that day. Ah, well, least she doesn't carry a grudge. Next shift went A-OK, with even a compliment or two! Hell, I've had LOT worse bosses! `Course, I've always admired those Aslans. Guys back on the old `Glory' used to call me a zenophile, but, hell, I Do like people like the Vargr and Aslans. Even the Captain! Now there is one tough son-o-the-stars! There are times I'm real surprised to see people come out of his office with all the same body parts they went in with... And yet, I can't think of anyone else I've ever served under I've liked better. (Well, maybe Estel Gwen, but, she was special in many ways...) He's as quick with a `well done', as he is with a growl, and he Really seems to know how to keep a crew together. And I think we're gonna need that soon. Real Bad!

So, I've avoided the hangovers, and anything else that'll get me in trouble with the Top Dog.

Now we've got another Jump coming up in a few hours. That's what left me with the hangover last time. You'd think, with all the times I've been through it, I could stand Jump a little better. Not that I ever get Jump sick, mind you. Hell I didn't even get Jump sick that time the Lady Margolian misjumped, even though three quarters of crew weren't able to stand a watch for 2 days. For me, its that `feeling' that I get when we Jump. Kinda like my skin's in where my guts should be, and the lump in my throat I'm tryin to swallow is my balls. I'm on duty during the next jump, so, maybe I'll be too busy to notice. I doubt it.

Commo seems to be going smooth. `Course, with PATER to help sometimes I feel superfulous. Ah, well, I know there are things I can do better, just by the fact that I can move around!

Off hours have been going smooth. Been working out in the pool and with at the `gym' the guys have put together. Gave a demo the other night of knife throwing. One of those Security guys said he couldn't see any point to it, as he could blow me away with his laser carbine before I could get close enough. Fhaa! I'd like to see him in a close infighting situation some time! Or in a fight in a dangerous atmosphere. Or, TRY to be subtle... Fat Chance! Anyway, found fast there are guys better'n me with a blade (as if I didn't know), at least hand to hand. That's OK. I showed'm up a little in the throwing area. Wish I had a holo of Morgan Grey's face when I put that screwdriver through a target of 10 mm thick composition board! Ah, the small victories can also be sweet...

Well, gotta get SOME sleep. Busy day tomorrow, and I will NOT miss chow on a jump day! More later.


=== 015-1120

JAN YORBLIN
015-1120 Chief Medical Officer's Personal Diary

A few notes from today's happenings: Minor industrial injuries still occurring in engineering spaces. Yeah, bumps and bruises happen, but with 1 or 2 coming in a day, it will only be a while until someone _really_ hurts themself. I'll try and catch a quick word with ChEng Munro. Of course, the operative word is catch. That woman is constantly on the move, rarely see her in the mess, just in and out for a sangie and a cold one. Kinda like me, nose in a holodisplay all the time. BTW, speaking of food, the Elissa is quite the pleasant surprise as far as quality and variety.

Had the 'B' sickbay watch. A few cases of jump sickness, a couple of strains and bruises from the rapid turnover in engineering. Again nothing major.

The department is coming together exceptionally well. Finished our three day series on MCI and HazMat with a table top exercise. Went well, pointed out some minor glitches. Will probably have more pointed out to us when we do full scale drills with engineering and security...another reason to talk to Munro, and to Lazer, too.

Went down to the pool after the table top, actually getting the hang of this swimming thing. Can actually make it from one end to the other without sinking to the bottom. Kind of pleasant and good exercise, surprised I haven't tried it before. Doejin is quite the character, having explained I had never swimmed before, he seems more than willing to push me along.

Long discussion with Morton about potential threats to the Elissa. He is still concerned about psionic threat, new microbial threats if we hit the hoop. Onboard, his new microbiological trackers seem to be worker well. At least it picked up the few bugs I put into the system. PATER caught the microbes rapidly, ID'ed them as nonthreats and advised the MO on watch. Tomorrow, I'll try nanocytes and see how the system works with pseudobios. If Morton is right, and he usually is, there shouldn't be any problem.

Jan Yorblin, MD, FICAI CMO, RV Elissa


=== 016-1120

AARON HAUT-FRIEDER
"Personal Log, 1200, 016-1120. The second Jump has gone off beautifully; Neriika and Chief Aiwi say we're right on the beam for the Hamilcar's predicted position, the Captain was pleased as Petruchio, and the Chief Engineer gave us all a good word to finish things off. This bodes well, I think. By this time on the last mission, the ship had been sabotaged to Hell and back, five men were dead and three more were in hospital. It's too early to simply state that we're leading a charmed life, but it certainly feels like we're off to a better start this time.

"I'm grabbing a quick nap before I go on duty as EOW; I'm looking forward to chatting some more with Hur'Shurvan tonight, assuming he takes a chance to come down and visit with me the way I did with him on HIS last EOW stint. He's a fine Engineer and a fascinating fellow; the stories he tells about his travels with Nick are often quite remarkable, although they do give rise to questions about the sanity of our dear Mynheer Talon. *chuckle* Grey says he'll be back on duty tonight with me come Hell or high water, and he refuses to listen to my requests to see a doctor. If this idiotic business with his back continues for much longer, I'm going to have to go to the Chief Engineer before he really hurts himself. I'm also worried about those dreams; I had another one last night, very vague but definitely there, and if they persist I need to talk to SOMEONE.

"Hm. I need to finish that monograph the Count released on the maintainance of the lines and heraldry through the current crisis; it may be a year old by now, but it's all I have. And the water closet appears to be finally behaving itself, although I still miss not having a bidet. Well, this isn't a luxury yacht. End entry."


NISHU NERIIKA
"Personal log, 016-1120... ur, 1620 hours. Back in Jump and bang on course for where the Hoop used to be, to many many decimal places. Ahhh... now that was a sweet entry. Wish I could take the credit for it, but most goes to Lady Aiwi, as usual.

"Man, that As... rish it, fft-early. Fft-early. Anyway, she's just phenomenal. She's got to be the best navigator I've ever worked with, and on top of that she just oozes nobility in everything she does. Every word, every gesture, dignified and precise. Efficient. Smart. And did I mention she's one of the few women I've met as tall as me? I asked PATER yesterday. Only 6 cents shorter. Wow.

"Meeting her briefly, to coordinate the jumps back to Tuvir in the /Alcyon/, didn't really prepare me for actually working with her. A little un- pleasant at first... if she thinks you're not doing your very best, like she does, she'll make you feel about yay tall. But after you accept that, it's... almost exhilirating working beside her, pushing the envel- ope, getting that little bit extra out of the ship or yourself, watching her mind work as she comes up with these elegant solutions to things I've settled for getting 'close enough.' If this keeps up, I'll be a better navigator in spite of myself.

"Wonder how she'd react if I asked her to pose for a picture or two. Hmm.

"Noticed that the Cap'n has finally posted a date and time for that pistol competition he was panting... heh, panting to have. And wouldn't you know it, it's smack in the middle of one of my shifts...? Ah, well. I could probably get off to go, but fast-draws aren't my thing.

"Then there's that other thing... a talk he's giving on the 21st. On psi. As if there was anything to be said. At least it's not mandatory, like those lectures I had in the Navy. I ... huh?

"Aw, no. Now there's a slow drip from the ceiling to my carpet. At least the Alcyon had working plumbing. End entry."


=== 017-1120

BORIS MERKLE
"Personal log, 0830, 017-1120

"Dearest Iliana,

"The Elissa continues it's voyage in nominal condition. Cargo is all stable; drive room duties going well, despite some cranky monitors. However, Elissa is a thoroughly enjoyable vessel. She's got a look and feel that says 'I've been places, I've seen things, and I've not failed yet!'

"My fellow engineering staff are pleasant and friendly; Chief Munro is a treat to work with, both for the eyes and for the mind. In fact I find her the most intriguing woman I have met since you, my love. If it is possible, Munro seems to enjoy tinkering with 'stuff' even more than you did. And in the pool she is absolute beauty incarnate. When this trip is done, I'll have to determine if she can handle a jar of the Merkle family compote, as well as you did.

"I definitely do not like Crew Chief Aiwi. Despite some important tips gleaned from the lecture on Aslani culture mores, I still feel her hot eyes and gaze down the back of my neck. She has found nothing amiss with my work as yet, and while I'm sure it is paramount for her honour to stay on top of things, if she were humanati I would have told her to back the hell away, days ago. But those claws and teeth are intimidating. Maybe she could use some of Merkle compote too!

"The rest of the crew are a good bunch, but I wish they'd learn how to use a simple plunger. All the time I spend, unclogging toilets takes away the time I get to spend with Doejin and his waldos. Now there is a surprise. A Phin with some of the most basic human instincts I've ever experienced! There doesn't seem to be a mean bone in his body. He's clever, polite, and now that we've worked together a bit, he seems to be less worried about trodding on my toes, and more interested in the work at hand. But I have to say it still freaks me out, to round a corner and see him out of the water and floating in mid-air!

"The crew seems to be obsessed with a competitive streak. I tried to get into the swing of things, in the Grav simulator run offs, and in the shooting competitions, but I'm afraid I'm not much of a speed flyer or shooting expert. Still, if I ever get them onto Bendor and into a Hoversled, I think I could raise a few hairs off the back of their necks!

"Aside from some first aid lectures and some on the Aslan culture, I've pretty much stayed away from the onboard 'entertainment'. I dunno how anyone can sit through those wink-minded B graders. In fact I was somewhat surprised at the Captains reaction to one of the shows which depicted Vargr as snarling, sub-intelligent aliens driven by blood lust. I would have thought he'd see right through that kinda shit. I guess it's just another element of that alien honour I have a hard time grasping.

"Well Iliana, I have to go. Time to freshen up, have a bite, and do some laps in the pool. My state of mind at the moment is one of content and curiousity about the adventure ahead. I didn't hear from Papa before we lifted, so I have no idea what he thinks about this turn about in plans for the Seek. I also don't know what, if any benefits will come out of this for The Quick Fix. But if I know the old man, he'll gripe for hours about how I've broken Seek Solitude and how the family traditions just don't matter to young folk anymore. Then after he's taken the time to examine what I brought home, he'll hunker down over the computer for days until he's worked out how the family will benefit. I sure miss your quick tongue during those times...no one could keep a smile on the old dog's face as easily as you did!

"I miss you where ever you are Iliana, but often I feel as though you are where I am, and I'm thankful for that comfort.

"Terminate entry."


RIGO EDMONDSEN
"Personal log, 0010, 017-1120. Just came off duty. As boring as usual, but I had a long talk with Hfolraw. It's pretty fascinating to try to fathom the Aslan mindset, although some of them are so smug about their way of life that it's enough to make you scream. But Hfolraw is by no means the worst of the bunch in that respect. I'm off duty all day tomorrow so I'm going to sleep late. The medical show is about Virushi physiology. I think I'll give that a miss. End entry.

0027, 017-1120. Memo: Talk to someone about that damn plumbing! End entry!

1023, 017-1120. That shooting contest the Captain's been talking about has been sceduled for 1100 on the 22nd. I'd better go down to the shooting range and put in a bit of practice. End entry.

1136, 017-1120. Talked to Munro about the plumbing. She told me the one to talk to was standing right in front of her. Nice sense of humour on that woman. And she's not bad-looking either. It's a pity she's such a momomaniac. Anyone who'd rather read technical manuals than watch _Pinafore_ is definitely deficient in "kindred spirit". I sure wish the crew had been a bit more balanced. Ah well... I'd better try to dig up some plumbing tools. End entry.

1612, 017-1120. Went to that lecture about the Hoop, and was that a complete waste of time! Nothing but technical stuff. Damn! How I hope we can find a way to go after it through that wormhole! I want to walk on it, to breathe its air, to see the animals that live there, and to talk to the people who live there! What a downer if in the end all we do is measure the thinginess of the whatsit and then turn back.

Ah well... you can't force a starwine to bloom.

I think I'll get me a snack and watch an episode of _Patterson_. Nice of Tabor to give them to me. I must try and see if there's any of my history or sociology stuff he'd like. End entry. 2311, 017-1120. _Jump Trooper_ went down well. At least, nobody walked out. Grey was after me to scedule a feature for the 21st. I made a mistake there, breakout is not till early on the 23rd, so there should be no special pre-breakout rush on the 21st. Hmmm... that's the day the Captain lectures on psionics. I think I'll run that one from Karin where the psionic turns out to be the good guy. Ho-hum. I've got morning shift tomorrow so I suppose I'd better get an early night. End entry."


AIWIHEIKAHAIH
"Begin personal log entry, 1813 hours, 017-1120. Mission day 10, 129 hours to Jumpspace exit. Duty cycle concluded satisfactorily. The microlevel field bias in the aft-ventral Grid elements reported yesterday by Mister Goughzar was resolved as a miscalibrated sensor cluster. Discussed revised calibration sequences with Chief Engineer Munro. Elected to void the Grid data processing subsystem on that quadrant and perform a soft restart. PATER had the procedure completed in less than 10 uealaao...

Kha'! I sometimes think that that system is too clever for her -- its own good. Performed a shakedown sim of a four point four six parsec Jump, with an 8/64ths combat damage level, and a full-Grid Kolmogorov stutter, and the system had a stable Grid charge solution almost as soon as I'd finished entering the parameters! Neriika said that PATER was just 'showing off'. Hrrr...this Human tendency to...what is the term... anthropomorphise, to such an extent. Why does it arise? Could it be prejudicial to the mission? I must find time to study this at greater length.

[KEYPAD ENTRY: Memo entered]

The system itself, as far as I can judge, exhibits either true creative self-awareness, or has such a complex self-referential neural algorithm that it is indistinguishable from true consciousness. I have studied the Turnskaad orientational material at some length, but am still at a loss as to how PATER avoids the fugue syndromes which plague Hierate attempts at similar systems. How reliable is PATER's primary algorithm? From the evidence of the system's performance during the Alcyon's mission, it would appear to be highly robust under an extremely wide range of different stimuli. This...disquiet that I feel may well be baseless, but it is nonetheless real.

Met with Dr. Morser at 1015 to discuss the provision for ship sensor control from the Science Area during the approach to the 'spatial rift'. An amusing cub, but difficult to follow when discussing his own field. A question about the supposed nature of the 'rift' drew an extremely complex response...Khhhhh...Minkowski-Casimir matrices...Dirac vacuum energies...the greater the ignorance, the longer the words, khe?

[KEYPAD ENTRY: Memo: Meeting with Hryawi 1120 tomorrow to review material on spatial rift, and possible effects of spacecraft transit.]

(Sighs...) Humans can be so...wearing at times, I find. They are competent enough at their tasks, in the main, but so unthinking of the consequences of their actions on we Fteirle. What is Firukhte and cause for immediate Challenge for us is commonly a simple jest for them. They are usually polite to us, but they continue to trade insults among themselves. Munro calls it 'pulling your leg'. A quaint term -- physical contact is rarely involved. Aolrkhea' particularly seems to be troubled. A small game of Hwei'khtye and a quiet chat may be of help. (Chuckles) Especially if I let her beat me this time...

Kt-t-t-t-t-t...what else? Ohhhhh yes! The kssiy'ikht fresher is refusing to cycle properly again. I *knew* we should have provided an engineer for this mission. Well, we shall see how Mister Munro enjoys fixing this with her bare hands... Personal log entry ends."


=== 018-1120

CHRISTIAN VAN DER MERWE
Personal Log, 018-1120, 1437 Hours. (sigh) We are now into the second jump, and all seems well. So far, no possessed robots, system malfunction, party from hell, or any dead/maimed crew. I haven't had to fill out any death certificate, or conduct any more of those blighted autopsies... so why the hell aren't I any happier?

Of course, this time out a lot of things HAVE changed. We have exchanged a ship designed by pure inspiration for this workhorse, and it darned well shows it. We seem to have brought every possible equipment we might have cause to need, excepting a couple of full-time plumber 'bots. As a cosmic joke, it should have shown up aboard the Alcyon, now that we know all the shit that was flying behind closed doors and our backs.

That's only the beginning, of course. Admiral Roukh is no longer in charge, praise be. I've thought about it on and off since 'Vouf and I had our screaming punch-out, and I still don't buy it. I can't say 'Vouf is wrong, but it just takes me a step farther than I can yield. His explanation could be the right one, but I just don't think that Ger is as crafty as 'Vouf gives him credit for being. He's just not that complicated, I don't think. I don't accept the neat sidestep of personal responsibility. The Ger-as-victim approach just can't be squared with reality.

The Aslan, of course. I've never had much contact with them, so I admit this has been somewhat of a learning experience for me. If I had to use one word for the Aslan, I think it would be respect. There are no goof offs, no slacking; they all present the image of rock-solid professional skill, with limited tolerence for shoddy work and an inner drive that is astounding.

(deep sigh) Who the hell am I kidding? I'm not heading the Medical Team this time out, and I'd be a fool if I said that it hasn't made a difference. I am a good doctor, a damned good one, and being on the Bridge sets me apart from that. Of course, I don't miss the administration angle of the Medical Team -- Jan seems to have taken to that with a vengeance, and if he likes that, fine. I could do it, of course, but that sort of mind-numbing staff work bored me to tears, frankly. But, dammit, I'm on the Bridge now, and that's a whole different universe. I do like the change of scenery, despite working with Ger, and my ship operations skills are getting a hell of a workout -- a nice change of pace, in many respects, but I still get that fifth-wheel feeling. Maybe I'll feel better when we get to the 'hole.' I hope so. I really do.

Pause recording. (...) Resume. That's not the end of it, of course. I should be a psych for all that floats through my head, maybe then I could get it straightened out. Well, probably not... Ever since the long Turnskaad layover, the memories of the past seem to be crowding in upon me with regularity. Each time I go to sleep, I wonder if I will be able to sleep a dreamless sleep, or again travel the same well-worn, tortured pathways. Strangely enough, I don't dream of Charissa anymore. Rather, again and again I dream of Davros, of what little memories I had of him, or in some other subconscious incarnation of what became of him, or what he might have been. Even when I wake, this vague, nagging feeling gnaws at my gut -- but I can't figure out why. Maybe it is just tension about the mission. Maybe.

Yolanda Munro has helped quite a bit, though. Not too long after the first jump, those dreams were getting pretty bad. I suppose there is not much that can compare with the self-inflicted guilt of a parent over a missing child. It just got to the point where I had to talk about it, with someone who could empathize with that viewpoint... So I took a chance, I suppose, and tracked her down. In Engineering, of course. Where else? I've met many a Chief Engineer in my time, but not one with quite this utter single-minded drive. Yet, under that mile-thick engineering shell, there lives a sociable and engaging person. We've met, a couple of times so far, and just talked... I told her about Charissa and Davros, and she told me about her two younger brothers. It seems to get a little bit easier each time I tell it, but the pain is still there. I don't know if I ever can do anything about it, but talking with Yolanda is a release... I look forward to our next meeting.. The pool, this time, is what she said, I think... Have to check on that...

Routine has settled down fairly quickly... There is certainly plenty to do while off duty, and people do seem to be bound and determined to enjoy themselves. Rigo's regular holo showings do seem to be quite popular, and I've dropped in on a number myself. Good entertainment for the value... Card games, swimming contests, marksmanship tourneys... Hard work means hard play, I guess. Pulled out my carbine for some practice at the laser tourney. Surprised a few people, I guess it didn't fit their mental picture of me. Make my day, indeed. (chuckle) The lecture series by the Med-Department has been good CE -- I just hope we don't need to use it. Lazer and I have this running dart game going... He just showed up one day, slapped a board to the Aurora's wall... (laugh) I like him.

Well... This has been quite the log entry. No wonder I don't do them very often.... (sigh) Well, back to the salt mines. End.


DR. MANFRED WERNER
"Begin diary entry, 2010, 018-1120. Well, we may be able to salvage something from the Alcyon debacle after all. That Vargr isn't quite the martinet that the Darrian was, so I think he may be more amenable to suggestion than our last captain.

"The science team is understaffed, as usual. Why they transferred Limner to medical is beyond me. It's obvious we need another academician; we have more medics than we know what to do with, even if one of them is a slacker and another some sort of herbalist. I'd even be glad to have Silvmane back, since it's obvious he's a menace in engineering. Having Sokuku and that Niigurd woman here is worse than useless. She's constantly complaining about not having any savages around to whom she can proselytize. I wish we could provide her with some. Preferably cannibalistic. Sokuku, on the other hand, is just plain useless. I do work side by side with Abuko now, however. I sometimes find the urge to laugh almost irresistable.

"Morser finally finished the simulation. I must admit, I am impressed with the AI on board. Even so, the simulation taxed it a bit. Must remember to ask Johann with he makes of that. *chuckle*. Morser is a good department head, especially for someone so young, and is very responsive to input.

"The bridge crew is impossible to deal with. I've given up trying to reason with Akhouw. They're all exactly the same. It simply amazes me that some people are so blind about it.

"Speaking of misfits, that Munro woman has taken to prancing around the swimming pool naked. Probably looking for someone to fornicate with. I don't know which is more disgusting: her, or the attention she gets from the other crew members. I've decided to just avoid the pool altogether for the rest of this trip. Having that... that fish floating around the ship is unnerving anyway. I wish he'd just stay in his kennel when he's not doing whatever it is that he does in engineering.

"Abuko somehow managed to get his hands on the corpse of that malfunctioning robot from the last trip. He spends all of his free time trying to analyze the damaged memory. I only hope he doesn't decide to try and put it back in a working body here. The last thing we need is another string of sabotage. And with Bhyarrvouf in charge now, God knows what he'd decide to do this time. 'Vacc the ship, most likely.

Enough for now. End entry."

END OF PART 1.

Continue to Part 2

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